A son misses his father’s hesitations in a polished memoir. A recording complicates his claim to know which voice belongs on the page.
01Read the Arabic story
مُذَكِّرَاتُ أَبِي بِصَوْتِ شَخْصٍ غَرِيبٍ
عِنْدَمَا قَرَأْتُ مُذَكِّرَاتِ أَبِي، عَرَفْتُ الْوَقَائِعَ وَلَمْ أَسْمَعْ صَوْتَهُ. كَانَتِ الْجُمَلُ تَمْضِي بِثِقَةٍ نَحْوَ نِهَايَاتِهَا، أَمَّا هُوَ فَكَانَ يَتَوَقَّفُ قَبْلَ الْكَلِمَةِ الْأَخِيرَةِ، كَأَنَّهُ يَخْتَبِرُهَا. ذُكِرَ اسْمُ لَيْثٍ فِي صَفْحَةِ الشُّكْرِ، مَعَ تَوْضِيحِ دَوْرِهِ فِي صِيَاغَةِ الْكِتَابِ. لَمْ يَكُنِ الْكَاتِبُ مَخْفِيًّا؛ كَانَتْ خَسَارَتِي أَقَلَّ سُهُولَةً فِي التَّسْمِيَةِ.
سَأَلْتُ لَيْثًا لِمَاذَا حَذَفَ التَّرَدُّدَ مِنْ قِصَّةِ الْمَصْنَعِ. قَالَ إِنَّ أَبِي رَاجَعَ الصَّفَحَاتِ، ثُمَّ شَغَّلَ تَسْجِيلَ الْمُرَاجَعَةِ بِإِذْنِهِ. سَمِعْتُ أَبِي يَطْلُبُ تَرْتِيبَ الْأَسْبَابِ قَبْلَ النَّتَائِجِ، وَحَذْفَ عِبَارَةٍ يُكَرِّرُهَا. لَمْ يَطْلُبْ تَغْيِيرَ الْحَادِثَةِ. قَالَ: هَذَا الْكَلَامُ لِقَارِئٍ لَا يَجْلِسُ مَعَنَا إِلَى الْمَائِدَةِ. وَسَكَتَ قَبْلَ أَنْ يُضِيفَ أَنَّهُ يُرِيدُ صَفْحَةً وَاضِحَةً.
تَعَلَّقْتُ بِالسَّكْتَةِ كَأَنَّهَا شَاهِدٌ لِصَالِحِي. لَكِنَّ الطَّلَبَ الَّذِي جَاءَ بَعْدَهَا لَمْ يَكُنْ طَلَبِي. كُنْتُ أَظُنُّ أَنَّ مَنْ يَعْرِفُ صَوْتَهُ يَمْلِكُ حَقَّ الدِّفَاعِ عَنْهُ. وَجَدْتُ نَفْسِي أُدَافِعُ عَنْ مَكَانِي؛ فَأَنَا الِابْنُ الَّذِي يَفْهَمُ نِصْفَ الْجُمْلَةِ قَبْلَ أَنْ تَكْتَمِلَ. كَانَ لَيْثٌ يَنْتَظِرُ رَدِّي، فَطَلَبْتُ مِنْهُ إِعَادَةَ الْمَقْطَعِ بَدَلًا مِنْ إِعَادَةِ الْعِبَارَةِ إِلَى الْكِتَابِ.
فِي الْمَسَاءِ، وَضَعْتُ النُّسْخَةَ أَمَامَ أَبِي. أَشَارَ إِلَى فَصْلٍ وَقَالَ إِنَّهُ يُحِبُّ طَرِيقَةَ بِدَايَتِهِ، ثُمَّ بَدَأَ يَحْكِي لِي مَا سَبَقَهَا. اِسْتَغْرَقَ الْحَدِيثُ وَقْتًا أَطْوَلَ مِنْ قِرَاءَةِ الصَّفْحَةِ. لَمْ يُبَدِّلْ رَأْيَهُ، وَأَنَا لَمْ أَجِدِ الْحَدِيثَ أَقَلَّ قِيمَةً لِذَلِكَ. سَأَلْتُهُ إِنْ كَانَ يُمْكِنُنِي حِفْظُ تَسْجِيلِ الْمُرَاجَعَةِ، فَوَافَقَ وَطَلَبَ أَنْ أُرْسِلَ لَهُ نُسْخَةً.
كَتَبْتُ عَلَى مِلَفِّ التَّسْجِيلِ تَارِيخَهُ، لَا عُنْوَانَ الْكِتَابِ. أَضَفْتُ الصَّفْحَةَ الَّتِي أَحَبَّهَا أَبِي إِلَى الصَّفَحَاتِ الَّتِي أَشَّرْتُ إِلَيْهَا. لَمْ أَمْحُ الْعَلَامَاتِ؛ بَعْضُهَا يَدُلُّ عَلَى أَسْئِلَةٍ مَا زَالَتْ لِي. عِنْدَمَا أَرْسَلْتُ الْمِلَفَّ، سَأَلَنِي أَبِي عَنِ الْفَصْلِ التَّالِي. أَجَبْتُهُ بِسُؤَالٍ عَنْ جُمْلَةٍ فِيهِ. كَانَ الْكِتَابُ بَيْنَنَا، وَالصَّوْتُ يَأْتِي مِنَ الْهَاتِفِ، وَلَمْ يَحْتَجْ أَحَدُهُمَا إِلَى إِسْكَاتِ الْآخَرِ.
Show English translationHide English translation
When I read my father’s memoir, I recognised the events but did not hear his voice. The sentences moved confidently towards their endings, whereas he would pause before the final word, as though testing it. Layth’s name appeared on the acknowledgements page, with an explanation of his role in shaping the book. The writer was not hidden; my loss was less easy to name.
I asked Layth why he had removed the hesitation from the factory story. He said my father had reviewed the pages, then played the review recording with his permission. I heard my father ask for the causes to be arranged before the results and for a phrase he used to repeat to be deleted. He had not requested a change to the event. He said: these words are for a reader who does not sit at the table with us. He paused before adding that he wanted a clear page.
I clung to the pause as though it were a witness on my side. But the request that followed was not my request. I had thought that knowing his voice gave one the right to defend it. I found myself defending my own place: I was the son who understood half a sentence before it was complete. Layth waited for my reply, so I asked him to play the passage again instead of restoring the phrase to the book.
That evening, I put the copy before my father. He pointed to a chapter and said he liked the way it began, then started telling me what had preceded it. The conversation took longer than reading the page. He did not change his opinion, and I did not find the conversation less valuable because of that. I asked whether I could keep the review recording; he agreed and asked me to send him a copy.
I wrote its date on the recording file, rather than the book’s title. I added the page my father liked to the pages I had marked. I did not erase the marks; some indicated questions I still had. When I sent the file, my father asked about the next chapter. I answered with a question about a sentence in it. The book lay between us and the voice came through the phone; neither needed to silence the other.
02Useful words from the story
| Arabic in the story | Meaning here |
|---|---|
| مُذَكِّرَاتِ | the memoir of |
| الْوَقَائِعَ | the events; facts of what happened |
| صِيَاغَةِ | shaping; wording |
| التَّرَدُّدَ | the hesitation |
| الْمُرَاجَعَةِ | the review; revision session |
| بِالسَّكْتَةِ | to the pause; to the moment of silence |
| شَاهِدٌ | a witness |
| لِصَالِحِي | in my favour |
| الْمَقْطَعِ | the recorded passage |
| الْعَلَامَاتِ | the marks; annotations |
03Check your understanding
Choose one answer per question. Track voices, omissions and competing accounts. Choose the reading best supported by the Arabic text.
What to remember
- A recognisable pause does not cancel the father’s explicit choice of a clearer public voice.
- The son can preserve private speech and question the book without claiming sole authority over his father.
Explore the Arabic in this story
Related grammar and vocabularyOpen Araqick guides connected to this story.
Kana in Arabic: Was and Were
كَانَ الْكِتَابُ بَيْنَنَا
Read kana with a location predicate: the book was between the speakers.
Lam in Arabic: How to Say “Did Not”
لَمْ يَطْلُبْ تَغْيِيرَ الْحَادِثَةِ
Identify lam with the sound-final jussive yatlub to deny a requested change.
