At a school reunion, a remembered kindness interrupts a man’s familiar account of being invisible. A photograph offers evidence, but not a complete verdict.
01Read the Arabic story
زَمِيلُ الدِّرَاسَةِ الَّذِي تَذَكَّرَنِي عَلَى نَحْوٍ مُخْتَلِفٍ
ذَهَبْتُ إِلَى لِقَاءِ زُمَلَاءِ الْمَدْرَسَةِ وَأَنَا أَحْمِلُ جُمْلَةً جَاهِزَةً عَنْ تِلْكَ السَّنَوَاتِ: كُنْتُ تِلْمِيذًا لَا يَرَاهُ أَحَدٌ. لَمْ تَكُنْ كَذِبَةً؛ فَقَدْ تَذَكَّرْتُ مَقْعَدِي الْأَخِيرَ، وَأَسْمَاءً كَانَ الْمُعَلِّمُونَ يَنْطِقُونَهَا قَبْلَ اسْمِي. لَكِنَّنِي اسْتَعْمَلْتُهَا طَوِيلًا حَتَّى صَارَتْ تُغْنِينِي عَنْ تَذَكُّرِ أَيَّامٍ بِعَيْنِهَا. كَانَتْ خُلَاصَةً مُرِيحَةً لِحَيَاةٍ لَمْ تَكُنْ مُرِيحَةً دَائِمًا.
عِنْدَ طَاوِلَةِ الصُّوَرِ، اقْتَرَبَ مِنِّي رَامِي وَسَأَلَنِي عَنِ الْمِمْحَاةِ الْبَيْضَاءِ. ظَنَنْتُهُ يَخْلِطُ بَيْنِي وَبَيْنَ زَمِيلٍ آخَرَ. قَالَ إِنَّنِي قَسَمْتُهَا نِصْفَيْنِ فِي أَوَّلِ أُسْبُوعٍ لَهُ مَعَنَا، وَوَضَعْتُ نِصْفًا عَلَى دَفْتَرِهِ الْأَزْرَقِ. لَمْ يَكُنْ يَعْرِفُ كَيْفَ يَطْلُبُ شَيْئًا مِنْ صَفٍّ يَتَبَادَلُ أَفْرَادُهُ النِّكَاتِ الَّتِي لَا يَفْهَمُهَا. قَالَ: لَمْ تَجْعَلْنِي أَشْرَحُ مَا أَحْتَاجُ إِلَيْهِ.
أَخَذْتُ أَبْحَثُ فِي ذَاكِرَتِي عَنْ صُورَةٍ تُوَافِقُ كَلَامَهُ. تَذَكَّرْتُ قِطْعَةَ مِمْحَاةٍ صَغِيرَةً كَانَتْ تَضِيعُ فِي حَقِيبَتِي، وَلَكِنْ لَا اللَّحْظَةَ الَّتِي قَسَمْتُ فِيهَا الْمِمْحَاةَ. سَأَلْتُهُ إِنْ كَانَ مُتَأَكِّدًا، فَأَشَارَ إِلَى صُورَةٍ جَمَاعِيَّةٍ: كُنْتَ تَجْلِسُ بِجَانِبِي قُرْبَ النَّافِذَةِ. لَمْ تُثْبِتِ الصُّورَةُ حِكَايَةَ الْمِمْحَاةِ، لَكِنَّهَا أَظْهَرَتْنِي أَلْتَفِتُ نَحْوَهُ وَالْبَقِيَّةُ يَنْظُرُونَ إِلَى الْعَدَسَةِ.
قُلْتُ إِنَّ الْأَمْرَ كَانَ صَغِيرًا. أَجَابَ أَنَّهُ كَانَ صَغِيرًا بِالنِّسْبَةِ إِلَيَّ، ثُمَّ انْشَغَلَ بِتَحِيَّةِ زَمِيلٍ وَصَلَ لِتَوِّهِ. تَرَكَنِي هُدُوءُ جَوَابِهِ أَشَدَّ ارْتِبَاكًا مِمَّا لَوْ أَلْقَى خُطْبَةَ شُكْرٍ. لَمْ يَطْلُبْ مِنِّي أَنْ أُحِبَّ الْمَدْرَسَةَ بِأَثَرٍ رَجْعِيٍّ، وَلَمْ يَنْفِ وَحْدَتِي؛ كَانَ يَضَعُ فِي الْحِكَايَةِ شَخْصًا رَآنِي، لَا أَكْثَرَ.
بَقِيتُ أَمَامَ الصُّورَةِ بَعْدَ أَنْ عَادَ الْآخَرُونَ إِلَى مَقَاعِدِهِمْ. لَمْ تَتَحَوَّلْ سَنَوَاتِي إِلَى سَنَوَاتٍ سَعِيدَةٍ، وَلَمْ أَصِرْ فَجْأَةً مَحْوَرَ الصَّفِّ. غَيْرَ أَنَّ جُمْلَتِي الْجَاهِزَةَ لَمْ تَعُدْ تَتَّسِعُ لِكُلِّ مَا أَعْرِفُهُ. عِنْدَ الْعَشَاءِ، سَأَلَنِي زَمِيلٌ كَيْفَ أَتَذَكَّرُ أَيَّامَ الْمَدْرَسَةِ. نَظَرْتُ إِلَى رَامِي، ثُمَّ طَلَبْتُ مِنَ السَّائِلِ أَنْ يَبْدَأَ هُوَ.
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I went to the school reunion carrying a ready-made sentence about those years: I had been a pupil nobody saw. It was not a lie; I remembered my seat at the back and names teachers called before mine. But I had used it for so long that it spared me having to remember particular days. It was a comfortable summary of a life that had not always been comfortable.
At the photograph table, Rami approached me and asked about the white eraser. I thought he was confusing me with another classmate. He said I had divided it in half during his first week with us and put one half on his blue exercise book. He had not known how to ask for anything from a class whose members exchanged jokes he did not understand. He said, “You did not make me explain what I needed.”
I began searching my memory for an image that matched his account. I remembered a small piece of eraser that used to get lost in my bag, but not the moment when I had divided the eraser. I asked whether he was sure, and he pointed to a group photograph: “You used to sit next to me near the window.” The photograph did not prove the eraser story, but it showed me turning towards him while the others looked at the camera lens.
I said it had been a small thing. He answered that it had been small for me, then became busy greeting a classmate who had just arrived. His quiet answer left me more unsettled than a speech of thanks would have. He did not ask me to love school retrospectively, and he did not deny my loneliness; he was putting someone who had seen me into the story, nothing more.
I stayed in front of the photograph after the others had returned to their seats. My years had not become happy years, and I had not suddenly become the centre of the class. Yet my ready-made sentence could no longer accommodate everything I knew. At dinner, a classmate asked how I remembered my school days. I looked at Rami, then asked the questioner to begin himself.
02Useful words from the story
| Arabic in the story | Meaning here |
|---|---|
| تُغْنِينِي | spare me the need |
| بِعَيْنِهَا | specific; particular |
| خُلَاصَةً | a summary |
| الْمِمْحَاةِ الْبَيْضَاءِ | the white eraser |
| نِصْفَيْنِ | two halves |
| تُوَافِقُ | matches |
| الْعَدَسَةِ | the camera lens |
| ارْتِبَاكًا | confusion; unease |
| بِأَثَرٍ رَجْعِيٍّ | retrospectively |
| مَحْوَرَ الصَّفِّ | the centre of the class |
03Check your understanding
Choose one answer for each question. Distinguish observation, recollection and supported inference. Open the English support when needed.
What to remember
- An experience can remain painful while an absolute account of it becomes incomplete.
- The photograph supports proximity and attention; it cannot verify every detail of the remembered act.
Explore the Arabic in this story
Related grammar and vocabularyOpen Araqick guides connected to this story.
Arabic Relative Pronouns: Joining Ideas with Alladhi and Allati
اللَّحْظَةَ الَّتِي قَسَمْتُ فِيهَا الْمِمْحَاةَ
Follow allati as it identifies the moment missing from the narrator’s recollection.
Lam in Arabic: How to Say “Did Not”
لَمْ يَطْلُبْ مِنِّي
Notice lam marking what the classmate’s memory does not require.
