A woman returns to her childhood home carrying a key that no longer fits. The visit unsettles the story she has told about the girl who once lived there.
01Read the Arabic story
بَيْتُ الطُّفُولَةِ وَبَابُهُ الْجَدِيدُ
قَبْلَ أَنْ أَضْغَطَ الْجَرَسَ، أَخْرَجْتُ مِنْ حَقِيبَتِي مِفْتَاحًا نُحَاسِيًّا احْتَفَظْتُ بِهِ مُنْذُ بَيْعِ بَيْتِ طُفُولَتِي. كُنْتُ أَعْرِفُ أَنَّهُ لَنْ يَفْتَحَ الْبَابَ الْأَزْرَقَ الْجَدِيدَ، وَمَعَ ذَلِكَ أَزْعَجَنِي اخْتِلَافُهُ عَنِ الْبَابِ الَّذِي أَتَذَكَّرُهُ. بَقِيَ الْخَدْشُ الْقَدِيمُ عَلَى الْجِدَارِ، أَمَّا اللَّوْنُ فَلَمْ أَسْتَطِعْ أَنْ أَحْسِمَ إِنْ كَانَ تَغَيَّرَ. أَخْبَرْتُ زَوْجِي أَنَّنِي سَأَمُرُّ لِأَرَى الْحَيَّ فَقَطْ؛ لَمْ أَذْكُرْ لَهُ الْمِفْتَاحَ الَّذِي وَضَعْتُهُ فِي حَقِيبَتِي لِهَذِهِ الزِّيَارَةِ.
فَتَحَتْ سَيِّدَةٌ لَا أَعْرِفُهَا، وَاسْتَمَعَتْ إِلَى تَفْسِيرِي بِاهْتِمَامٍ. دَعَتْنِي إِلَى الدُّخُولِ، لَكِنَّهَا اعْتَذَرَتْ عَنِ الْفَوْضَى. رَأَيْتُ مِعْطَفَ مَطَرٍ أَصْفَرَ لِطِفْلٍ، وَحِذَاءَيْنِ تَحْتَ الْمِقْعَدِ. حَاوَلْتُ أَنْ أَتَخَيَّلَ مِرْآةَ أُمِّي فَوْقَهُمَا، كَأَنَّ الْأَشْيَاءَ الْحَاضِرَةَ تَحْجُبُ التَّرْتِيبَ الصَّحِيحَ لِلْمَكَانِ. ثُمَّ شَعَرْتُ بِالْحَرَجِ مِنْ هَذِهِ الْفِكْرَةِ، وَأَنَا أَقْبَلُ ضِيَافَةَ صَاحِبَةِ الْبَيْتِ.
سَأَلَتْنِي السَّيِّدَةُ أَيْنَ كَانَتْ غُرْفَتِي، فَأَشَرْتُ إِلَى السُّلَّمِ. بَدَا أَضْيَقَ مِمَّا وَصَفْتُهُ لِابْنَتِي مِرَارًا. قُلْتُ إِنَّنِي كُنْتُ أَجْلِسُ عَلَى دَرَجَتِهِ الْعُلْيَا وَأَرْسُمُ. لَمْ أَقُلْ إِنَّنِي كُنْتُ أَنْتَظِرُ هُنَاكَ عَوْدَةَ أَبِي، وَأَنَّ الرَّسْمَ كَانَ يَجْعَلُ الِانْتِظَارَ أَقَلَّ ظُهُورًا. رُبَّمَا حَفِظْتُ فِي حِكَايَاتِي الطِّفْلَةَ الْمَوْهُوبَةَ وَأَهْمَلْتُ الطِّفْلَةَ الْقَلِقَةَ.
مِنَ الدَّاخِلِ نَادَى طِفْلٌ أُمَّهُ، فَالْتَفَتَتْ قَبْلَ أَنْ أُكْمِلَ كَلَامِي. لِثَانِيَةٍ، ضَايَقَنِي انْقِطَاعُ الْحَدِيثِ؛ ثُمَّ أَدْرَكْتُ أَنَّ يَوْمَهُمَا لَمْ يَبْدَأْ بِزِيَارَتِي، وَلَنْ يَنْتَهِيَ بِهَا. لَمْ أَكُنْ أَطْلُبُ مِنَ الْجُدْرَانِ أَنْ تَبْقَى، بَلْ أَنْ تَشْهَدَ لِنُسْخَةٍ مِنِّي صِرْتُ أُفَضِّلُهَا عَلَى مَا لَا يَسْهُلُ سَرْدُهُ.
شَكَرْتُهَا وَعُدْتُ إِلَى الْعَتَبَةِ. عَرَضَتْ أَنْ تُصَوِّرَنِي أَمَامَ الْبَابِ، فَوَقَفْتُ جَانِبًا لِيَظْهَرَ مِعْطَفُ الطِّفْلِ فِي الصُّورَةِ. أَعَدْتُ الْمِفْتَاحَ إِلَى حَقِيبَتِي؛ لَمْ يَصِرْ بِلَا مَعْنًى، وَلَمْ يَعُدْ دَلِيلًا عَلَى حَقٍّ فِي الدُّخُولِ. مَسَاءً، سَأَلَتْنِي ابْنَتِي عَنِ السُّلَّمِ. بَدَأْتُ أَصِفُهُ، ثُمَّ قُلْتُ: كُنْتُ أَنْتَظِرُ هُنَاكَ أَكْثَرَ مِمَّا كُنْتُ أَرْسُمُ.
Show English translationHide English translation
Before pressing the bell, I took from my bag a brass key I had kept since my childhood home was sold. I knew it would not open the new blue door, yet I was troubled by how different the door was from the one I remembered. The old scratch remained on the wall; as for its colour, I could not decide whether it had changed. I had told my husband I would only stop by to see the neighbourhood; I had not mentioned the key I had put in my bag for this visit.
A woman I did not know opened the door and listened attentively to my explanation. She invited me in but apologised for the untidiness. I saw a child’s yellow raincoat and a pair of shoes under the bench. I tried to imagine my mother’s mirror above them, as though the things now there were hiding the room’s correct arrangement. Then I felt embarrassed by that thought as I accepted the homeowner’s hospitality.
The woman asked where my room had been, and I pointed to the stairs. They seemed narrower than I had repeatedly described them to my daughter. I said I used to sit on the top step and draw. I did not say that I had waited there for my father to return, and that drawing had made the waiting less visible. Perhaps, in my stories, I had preserved the talented child and neglected the anxious one.
From inside, a child called his mother, and she turned before I had finished speaking. For a second, the interruption annoyed me; then I realised that their day had not begun with my visit and would not end with it. I was not asking the walls to remain, but to bear witness to a version of myself I had come to prefer to what was harder to tell.
I thanked her and went back to the threshold. She offered to photograph me in front of the door, and I stood to one side so the child’s coat would appear in the picture. I returned the key to my bag; it had not become meaningless, and it was no longer evidence of a right to enter. That evening, my daughter asked about the stairs. I began describing them, then said, “I used to wait there more than I drew.”
02Useful words from the story
| Arabic in the story | Meaning here |
|---|---|
| مِفْتَاحًا نُحَاسِيًّا | a brass key |
| اخْتِلَافُهُ | its difference |
| تَحْجُبُ | obscure; hide |
| بِالْحَرَجِ | with embarrassment |
| السُّلَّمِ | the stairs |
| الْقَلِقَةَ | the anxious one |
| انْقِطَاعُ الْحَدِيثِ | the interruption of the conversation |
| لِنُسْخَةٍ مِنِّي | to a version of myself |
| سَرْدُهُ | telling it |
| الْعَتَبَةِ | the threshold |
03Check your understanding
Choose one answer for each question. Distinguish observation, recollection and supported inference. Open the English support when needed.
What to remember
- The narrator’s memories remain meaningful even when they leave something out.
- Making room for the current residents changes what the house can represent.
Explore the Arabic in this story
Related grammar and vocabularyOpen Araqick guides connected to this story.
Arabic Relative Pronouns: Joining Ideas with Alladhi and Allati
الْبَابِ الَّذِي أَتَذَكَّرُهُ
Follow alladhi as it identifies the remembered door.
Lam in Arabic: How to Say “Did Not”
لَمْ أَذْكُرْ لَهُ الْمِفْتَاحَ
Notice how lam marks an omission in what she told her husband.
