Malik asks Salma for examples behind her written feedback and agrees on specific revisions.
01Read the Arabic conversation
طَلَبُ تَوْضِيحِ الْمُلَاحَظَاتِ عَلَى الْوَاجِبِ
مَالِكٌ: قَرَأْتُ مُلَاحَظَاتِكِ عَلَى وَاجِبِي، لَكِنَّنِي لَمْ أَفْهَمْ مَا تَقْصِدِينَ بِعِبَارَةِ «الْفِكْرَةُ عَامَّةٌ».
سَلْمَى: تَقُولُ إِنَّ الْحَافِلَاتِ مُفِيدَةٌ لِلْمَدِينَةِ، وَلَكِنَّكَ لَا تُوَضِّحُ الْفَائِدَةَ الَّتِي تُرِيدُ مُنَاقَشَتَهَا.
مَالِكٌ: أَرْجُو أَنْ تُعْطِينِي مِثَالًا مُحَدَّدًا، لِأَنَّنِي أُرِيدُ تَعْدِيلَ الْفِكْرَةِ دُونَ تَغْيِيرِ الْمَوْضُوعِ كُلِّهِ.
سَلْمَى: يُمْكِنُكَ مُنَاقَشَةُ تَكْلِفَةِ الرِّحْلَةِ الْيَوْمِيَّةِ، ثُمَّ مُقَارَنَةُ اسْتِخْدَامِ الْحَافِلَةِ بِاسْتِخْدَامِ السَّيَّارَةِ فِي مِثَالٍ وَاحِدٍ.
مَالِكٌ: إِذَنْ أُرَكِّزُ عَلَى التَّكْلِفَةِ، وَأَشْرَحُ كَيْفَ يُوفِّرُ رَاكِبٌ مُعَيَّنٌ مَالًا فِي رِحْلَتِهِ إِلَى الْعَمَلِ.
سَلْمَى: نَعَمْ، وَإِذَا اسْتَخْدَمْتَ أَرْقَامًا مُتَخَيَّلَةً، فَاذْكُرْ أَنَّهَا لِلتَّوْضِيحِ، حَتَّى لَا يَظُنَّهَا الْقَارِئُ أَسْعَارًا حَقِيقِيَّةً.
مَالِكٌ: وَكَتَبْتِ أَيْضًا «الرَّبْطُ ضَعِيفٌ». هَلْ تَقْصِدِينَ الرَّبْطَ بَيْنَ الْجُمَلِ أَوْ بَيْنَ الْفِقْرَاتِ؟
سَلْمَى: أَقْصِدُ الْفِقْرَتَيْنِ الثَّانِيَةَ وَالثَّالِثَةَ؛ تَنْتَقِلُ مِنْ تَكْلِفَةِ النَّقْلِ إِلَى الْأَمَاكِنِ السِّيَاحِيَّةِ دُونَ تَمْهِيدٍ.
مَالِكٌ: هَلْ تَكْفِي إِضَافَةُ كَلِمَةٍ مِثْلِ «أَيْضًا»، أَوْ أَحْتَاجُ إِلَى تَغْيِيرِ مَضْمُونِ الْفِقْرَةِ؟
سَلْمَى: الْكَلِمَةُ وَحْدَهَا لَا تَكْفِي. اِسْأَلْ نَفْسَكَ كَيْفَ تَخْدِمُ الْمَعْلُومَاتُ الْجَدِيدَةُ فِكْرَتَكَ عَنِ التَّكْلِفَةِ.
مَالِكٌ: فِي هَذِهِ الْحَالَةِ، سَأَحْذِفُ وَصْفَ الْمَتْحَفِ، وَأُضِيفُ بَدَلًا مِنْهُ مِثَالًا عَنْ مَصْرُوفِ الرِّحْلَةِ.
سَلْمَى: هَذَا أَوْضَحُ. وَحَافِظْ عَلَى خَاتِمَتِكَ الْقَصِيرَةِ، لَكِنْ عَدِّلْهَا لِتُلَخِّصَ الْفِكْرَةَ بَعْدَ التَّغْيِيرَاتِ الْجَدِيدَةِ.
مَالِكٌ: هَلْ تَحْتَاجُ الْمُقَدِّمَةُ إِلَى التَّعْدِيلِ أَيْضًا؟ أَخْشَى أَنْ تَبْقَى أَوْسَعَ مِنْ مَوْضُوعِي الْجَدِيدِ.
سَلْمَى: نَعَمْ، غَيِّرِ الْجُمْلَةَ الْأَخِيرَةَ فَقَطْ لِتُحَدِّدَ التَّكْلِفَةَ مَوْضُوعًا لِلْمُقَارَنَةِ، وَاتْرُكِ التَّمْهِيدَ الْقَصِيرَ كَمَا هُوَ.
مَالِكٌ: سَأَبْدَأُ بِالْفِكْرَةِ وَالْمِثَالِ، ثُمَّ أُرَاجِعُ الْمُقَدِّمَةَ وَالْخَاتِمَةَ. هَلْ هَذَا التَّرْتِيبُ مُنَاسِبٌ لِلْمُرَاجَعَةِ؟
سَلْمَى: نَعَمْ، وَبَعْدَ ذَلِكَ رَاجِعِ الْأَخْطَاءَ اللُّغَوِيَّةَ الَّتِي وَضَعْتُ تَحْتَهَا خَطًّا فِي النُّسْخَةِ الْأُولَى.
مَالِكٌ: هَلْ يُمْكِنُنِي أَنْ أُرِيَكِ الْفِقْرَةَ الْمُعَدَّلَةَ غَدًا قَبْلَ أَنْ أُسَلِّمَ الْوَاجِبَ كَامِلًا؟
سَلْمَى: نَعَمْ، أَرْسِلْهَا بَعْدَ الدَّرْسِ، وَأَضِفْ سُؤَالًا وَاحِدًا عَنْ أَيِّ نُقْطَةٍ مَا زَالَتْ غَامِضَةً.
مَالِكٌ: شُكْرًا، أَصْبَحَتِ الْمُلَاحَظَاتُ أَوْضَحَ الْآنَ، وَعَرَفْتُ مَا يَنْبَغِي تَغْيِيرُهُ وَمَا يُمْكِنُ الْإِبْقَاءُ عَلَيْهِ.
سَلْمَى: جَيِّدٌ؛ الْهَدَفُ أَنْ تُقَوِّيَ فِكْرَتَكَ بِمِثَالٍ وَاضِحٍ، لَا أَنْ تَزِيدَ عَدَدَ الْكَلِمَاتِ فَقَطْ.
Show English translationHide English translation
Malik: I read your comments on my assignment, but I did not understand what you mean by “the idea is general.”
Salma: You say buses benefit the city, but you do not explain which benefit you want to discuss.
Malik: Please give me a specific example, because I want to refine the idea without changing the whole topic.
Salma: You could discuss the cost of a daily journey, then compare taking the bus with using a car in one example.
Malik: So I focus on cost and explain how a particular passenger saves money on the journey to work.
Salma: Yes. If you use invented figures, state that they are illustrative so the reader does not mistake them for real prices.
Malik: You also wrote “weak connection.” Do you mean the connection between sentences or between paragraphs?
Salma: I mean the second and third paragraphs: you move from transport costs to tourist attractions without an introduction.
Malik: Is adding a word such as “also” enough, or do I need to change the paragraph’s content?
Salma: The word alone is not enough. Ask yourself how the new information supports your idea about cost.
Malik: In that case, I will remove the museum description and replace it with an example of journey expenses.
Salma: That is clearer. Keep your short conclusion, but revise it to summarize the idea after the new changes.
Malik: Does the introduction also need revision? I am worried it will remain broader than my revised topic.
Salma: Yes. Change only the final sentence to identify cost as the comparison topic, and keep the short opening as it is.
Malik: I will start with the idea and example, then review the introduction and conclusion. Is that a suitable revision order?
Salma: Yes. After that, review the language errors I underlined in the first version.
Malik: May I show you the revised paragraph tomorrow before submitting the complete assignment?
Salma: Yes. Send it after class and add one question about any point that is still unclear.
Malik: Thank you. The comments are clearer now, and I know what needs changing and what I can keep.
Salma: Good. The aim is to strengthen your idea with a clear example, not simply increase the word count.
02Useful words and expressions
| Arabic in the conversation | Meaning here |
|---|---|
| الْفِكْرَةُ عَامَّةٌ | the idea is general |
| مِثَالًا مُحَدَّدًا | a specific example |
| لِلتَّوْضِيحِ | for illustration |
| الرَّبْطُ ضَعِيفٌ | the connection is weak |
| دُونَ تَمْهِيدٍ | without an introduction |
| مَضْمُونِ الْفِقْرَةِ | the paragraph’s content |
| بَدَلًا مِنْهُ | instead of it |
| خَاتِمَتِكَ | your conclusion |
| الْفِقْرَةَ الْمُعَدَّلَةَ | the revised paragraph |
| غَامِضَةً | unclear |
03Check your understanding
Choose one answer for each question. Look back at the Arabic conversation for evidence. Open the English question support or a hint when you need help.
What to remember
- Ask for an example when feedback is too general.
- Confirm the specific revision before changing the whole assignment.
Explore the Arabic in this conversation
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Use arju an with the listener’s verb form to ask for an example.
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Use how questions to examine the connection between information and a main idea.
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Attach sa to a present-tense verb to state a planned revision.
